Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Decisions, Decisions...DECISIONS

How do I begin to write about this, other than coming right out and saying it!! Dan and I were PICKED!! I was in the middle of cooking dinner one night and my phone rang. I looked at the number and thought "oh great, a telemarketer is calling me" (it was an 818 number) and YES, I do occasionally screen my calls...who doesn't...LOL!! Anyway, I decided to answer it anyway, the gal on the phone didn't sound like a telemarketer so I was instantly engaged in what she was saying and then the words came out......"You and Dan have been PICKED!" My heart started pounding so hard I thought it was going to jump out of my chest!! I stopped making dinner, ran upstairs to where Dan was and shook him like crazy...he gave this look like "why did you just do that and acting so crazy"!! I started mouthing the words "it's the call!! it's the call!!" while pointing at the phone!! He got this look of "OMG, is this really happening".
So we listened to what the case worker had to say. She informed us of all the details of the BM and possible Birth Fathers...yes that is plural. She said to give her 15 mins to gather all the info she just told us and compile it to an email. That 15 mins felt like an hour! We finally got the email. The email included light history of BM, her parents and siblings, her health, the birth fathers status, a picture of herself (which Dan referred to as a total Facebook profile pic) and an ultrasound picture and a list of her possible expenses. The ultrasound picture was the sex determination one....and it's a Girl. The case worker told us to review the info and get back to her with our decision.
The Decision: After careful consideration of all aspects of the BM match we decided to decline the match. This was probably one of the HARDEST decisions either one of us have EVER had to make. Here we have the chance to give this little girl a good home and we were rejecting her...also, what if this is our 1 shot and we get put back into the pool and then end up waiting over a year.....our conversations regarding the match was FULL of ifs.
We feel good with our decision and the case worker assured us that we will get picked again and it will probably be soon. As for the BM, the case worker assured us that they are working with her to find a good match for the BM and her situation. we are again, waiting for "THE CALL". The next time, we will be ready and not so shocked and hoping that it will be a good fit!!

1 comment:

  1. Oh Becca! How in the world can one make such a choice based on PAPER? I can't imagine what you are going through. I admire what you are doing so much and that you and your husband are bonded so much as to make such a decision together and agree upon it. You story has shaken me and made me thankful for what I have and also made me ponder adoption myself. (shhh....don't tell Jeremy that!) I so appreciate your willingness to share your life with the world! You are an amazing woman, wife and MOM! You are a Mom, you just haven't seen your baby yet. ;)


    Ani (Lunsford) Karg