Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Emotional Roller Coaster

Well....here we are again....we were PICKED again a few weeks ago and we were so SUPER excited because we thought it was the perfect match. So here's the story....

It was a Friday evening when we received the call, again we were so stunned and giddy!! We waited and waited for AdoptHelp's case worker to email us the information on the BM. We LOVED the whole situation and the Birth parents!! We actually got to talk to the BM over the phone and it was amazing!! We were nervous, scared...didn't know what to expect but we ended up talking for over an hour!!
Well, long story short, come to find out our BM wanted something completely different than we did with regards to visitations with the child after finalization of the adoption. So, a few days later, we were notified that the BM is seeking out other families to fit her visitation requests. Which is fine because we all want to be completely comfortable with the entire situation before all of us get too vested emotionally.

I'm not gonna lie....it hurts to have this match fall through but I know that our baby is out there waiting for us and we will welcome with open arms and warm hearts!!

THANK YOU all again for supporting us during our family's journey!!

Status Update for Nov & Dec

Hi all!! I'm sure you probably think I forgot all about my blog....well, that's not entirely true. As most of you know, I (Becca) started my new job November 2nd and just haven't had the energy to get on the computer...so guess I better update you, huh?!?

2nd Profile Update ~ 10/5 - Christina (matched w/a family); 10/12 - Kim (hasn't chosen a family as of Nov 10th); 10/13 - Laura (matched w/a family); 10/13 - Amelia (matched w/a family); 10/13 - Cherice (hasn't chosen a family as of Nov 10th); 10/27 - Crystal (matched w/a family); 10/27 - Jessica (hasn't chosen a family as of Nov 10th); 10/27 - Catherine (matches w/a family).
Again, we were picked beginning of Nov (see blog entry: Decisions, Decisions...DECISIONS).

3rd Profile Update ~ 11/30 - Laura (hasn't chosen a family as of Dec 8th); 11/30 - Amanda (matched w/a family)
We were actually picked again.....(please see blog entry: Emotional Roller Coaster)

We had our Home Study visit last Sunday and it was...um, interesting to say the least. BUT it went GREAT!! We have to finish up some of our paperwork and then it will be COMPLETE!! Another thing that will be complete.....is the NURSERY!! We have worked so hard on it and can't wait to show you our creation for our lil' Locklear!!

Well, now that I've updated you....I hope your holidays were filled with love, laughter and joy!! I wish you all happiness, peace and prosperity in the New Year!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Decisions, Decisions...DECISIONS

How do I begin to write about this, other than coming right out and saying it!! Dan and I were PICKED!! I was in the middle of cooking dinner one night and my phone rang. I looked at the number and thought "oh great, a telemarketer is calling me" (it was an 818 number) and YES, I do occasionally screen my calls...who doesn't...LOL!! Anyway, I decided to answer it anyway, the gal on the phone didn't sound like a telemarketer so I was instantly engaged in what she was saying and then the words came out......"You and Dan have been PICKED!" My heart started pounding so hard I thought it was going to jump out of my chest!! I stopped making dinner, ran upstairs to where Dan was and shook him like crazy...he gave this look like "why did you just do that and acting so crazy"!! I started mouthing the words "it's the call!! it's the call!!" while pointing at the phone!! He got this look of "OMG, is this really happening".
So we listened to what the case worker had to say. She informed us of all the details of the BM and possible Birth Fathers...yes that is plural. She said to give her 15 mins to gather all the info she just told us and compile it to an email. That 15 mins felt like an hour! We finally got the email. The email included light history of BM, her parents and siblings, her health, the birth fathers status, a picture of herself (which Dan referred to as a total Facebook profile pic) and an ultrasound picture and a list of her possible expenses. The ultrasound picture was the sex determination one....and it's a Girl. The case worker told us to review the info and get back to her with our decision.
The Decision: After careful consideration of all aspects of the BM match we decided to decline the match. This was probably one of the HARDEST decisions either one of us have EVER had to make. Here we have the chance to give this little girl a good home and we were rejecting her...also, what if this is our 1 shot and we get put back into the pool and then end up waiting over a year.....our conversations regarding the match was FULL of ifs.
We feel good with our decision and the case worker assured us that we will get picked again and it will probably be soon. As for the BM, the case worker assured us that they are working with her to find a good match for the BM and her situation.
So....here we are again, waiting for "THE CALL". The next time, we will be ready and not so shocked and hoping that it will be a good fit!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

1st Status Update

Well, we have received our first status update on how many times our profile has been shown to birth moms. Here is what our case worker emailed us on October 8th:

"Here is your September status update: 9/14 ~ Racquel: hasn't chosen a family yet; 9/15 ~ Ester: matches with a family; 9/15 ~ Evi: hasn't chosen a family yet; 9/17 ~ Blanca: hasn't chosen a family yet; 9/29 ~ Samantha: hasn't chosen a family yet; 9/29 ~ Kim: hasn't chosen a family yet"

Now keep in mind, our caseworker received our profiles (birth mother letters) on September 14th....so in 3 weeks we were shown to 6 birth mothers. We feel that is a good start!!

We are in the Home Study stage now. Our first home study step is to gather all our required paperwork, then we will have our home study case worker come and visit us in our home.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Update & Sneak Peek

Update on Journey:
Well, AdoptHelp received our package of 30 birth mother letters (profiles) and our case worker sent the following email regarding the next step:

"Your profile will now be presented to birth mothers who match your filters. Sometime during the 1st to the 10th of each month you'll receive a status update from me via email or phone or both, which ever you prefer. You will receive your first status update in October. This status update will let you know on what date you profile was sent to the birth mother, what her name is and what her adoption status is. However, you will always be called if you are a 1st choice. If you are a 2nd or 3rd choice this will show up on your status update."

YAY!! We have chosen who will be completing our home study and are in the process of completing it...its a llloooooonnnngg process though, and masses amounts of paperwork. Can you say...PAPERCUTS...ouch....lol!

Now for the Sneak Peek......

Here's a peek from the nursery!! It's getting soooo close to completion!! The BIG reveal is coming!!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Waiting....

Well, our birth mother letters (30 to be exact) are printed and mailed off TODAY!! Once AdoptHelp recieves them we are on to our next step.
In the meantime, I have researched who in the state of Idaho and locally is the cheapest to provide our home study. A home study is basically when a social worker deems us fit to be adoptive parents....it seems simple but the paperwork is CrAzY!! The social worker told me that on average, most people complete their home studies within 60-90 days...WOWZERS!! It's a good thing I'm "working from home" to get it completed faster. My goal is completing it no later than 45 days from application. The first thing we have to do is apply for the home study which costs ($150 for the app and then an addl $950 for the completion of the home study). Eeeekkk! Good thing I had over 10 yrs in the banking industry to be knowledgable enough in managing finances...LOL!!
Also....since we are waiting for "The Call" ("the call" is where we get a call from our firm telling us that we are being presented to a birthmom and we have been picked)...we need to get the nursery complete (decor wise, not furniture). I kinda dropped the ball with the stripes. I started a section and then quit, here's what it looks like:
It's only a 3 foot section vertically....I did it to test the colors and decided, I didn't like it. I had a couple of people tell me that I was acting like a pregnant lady with my indecisiveness....LOL!! So, we are still doing stripes just in a different fashion. I'm so excited to get it started and hopefully finished in the next few weeks....my personal deadline is my birthday (Sept 28th)! We'll see how I do on that timeline...LOL!!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Babies are EXPENSIVE!!

Ok, ok....I've always known that having a baby is expensive....BUT I didn't realize how much it cost just to get the nursery ready to go minus the painting. Dan and I went to Babies R Us today for the 1st time EVER!! I've been there to buy gifts but being in there with Dan and shopping for our baby...way too surreal!! Let's just say I was beaming!! We initially went there to look at furniture. Dan wanted to explore what types of styles there are and what the cost is. It was a fun experience and I look forward to more trips to Babies R Us and wherever else to buy our baby supplies. The furniture set (a crib and dresser/changer combo) we loved, cost in the range of $1000 - $1200...EEKKK!! Soooo, since I'm "working from home" I'm researching crib recalls, crib reviews and cheaper places to buy!!

UPDATE on Journey:
We are in the process of having our birthmother letter printed @ a professional printer. Once they are finished we will mail it off to AdoptHelp. We are also working on who to contact for our Home Study.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Birthmother Letter.....DEBUT!!!



Well....here it is!! Our LETTER!! I have spent so many hours on this thing that common words started to look so weird and wrong to me. For example, the word "our".....I kept looking at that word and thought "Is that a real word or did I just spell it wrong?" LOL!!

To view our letter, just click on the picture above. It will take you to my Picasa Web Album!! :0)

THANKS again to everyone....Family & Friends for ALL your support through our journey!! It means MORE to us than you realize!! Sending BIG HUGS to you all!!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Tears from the Heart

YAY!! I finally got the help I needed to finish our letter!! The good news is that it was easy for my friend to figure out....the bad news, I pretty much have to redo all my pages since I created them in the wrong resolution....oops!!

Well, with the re-creation of these pages I found myself googling adoption quotes and saying and found this one, which is so VERY, VERY true....it brought tears to my eyes, tears of joy because its how I feel as an adopted person.

Luck
I didn't come from out of my mother.
I don't have my father's green eyes.
No one in my family looks like me.
People are always surprised.

I think we're a happier family
Than if we were all kings and queens.
We're so lucky we all found each other.
That's what being adopted means.

--"Luck" by Pamela Espeland and Marilyn Nelson (Waniek), from The Cat Walked Through the Casserole

Here is another one that I just LOVE:

Legacy of an Adopted Child
Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother

Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun

The first one gave you life, and the second one taught you how to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears

One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.

Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.

--Unknown

We are getting closer and closer everyday.....once we complete the Birthmother letter we will submit it to AdoptHelp and then we wait......
While we wait, we will be painting the nursery.....I'll post pictures when we start and when we finish so you can see what we decided to do. Thanks for all your support!! =0)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Letter update and Nursery ideas

Many of you have been asking about our letter....it's going GREAT but on hold. I'm struggling with the Photoshop program, so until I can get 1 of my fabulous friends to come help me...it'll sit unfinished. =0)

Since I have quite a bit of free time (haha), I've been researching uni-sex nurseries. Why uni-sex?? Most birthmoms will not find out the sex of the baby they are giving up since it can be an attatchment issue....so most adoptive parents won't know the sex of their baby until the baby is born. I have to say that, this day in age, MOST people find out the sex of the baby and so that means that MOST of the nursery ideas are specific to a boy or girl....it's been hard to find good ideas for greens and yellows. I've found a couple of different ideas that we like. Take a look and let me know what you think.

This is our #1 favorite idea - Color and all
My 2nd choice, not Dan's - The color combo of yellow and black & white

I thought this was cute and different...but not sure if it's uni-sex enough

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Birthmother Letter

We are in the process of writing our Birthmother (Bm) Letter. This is a letter that will be shown to "matching" Bms as an introduction to us. It's full of pictures along with who we are as a couple and as individuals. We have a good rough draft going. Our letter must also be creative...meaning: full of pictures and color to show our personalities. I am currently using Photoshop to create a digital scrapbook for our letter. Here are a couple of pages (they are still in the works so bare with me....plus I'm still learning how to use Photoshop and scrapbook)!! Our (personal) deadline, the firm doesn't create a deadline it's purely up to us, to complete the letter is the beginning of July.

These are still "works in progress"

AdoptHelp has GREAT stats for placement. Once a Bm letter is completed and approved the average wait is 6 months for bringing home our lil' Locklear. Another stat of theirs is their placement stat: In 2009 they had 132 adoptive parents enter the program and 124 newborns placed. =0)

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The Beginning

Hello friends and family!! Since we have so many of you asking about our adoption, we thought we would create a blog so you may receive updates.

As most of you may know, we have started the process for a domestic adoption for a newborn. We have picked the firm of who we will go through to adopt....drum roll please....AdoptHelp. They are out of the bay area of California. They are a law firm that specializes in domestic newborn adoptions. They have been great to work with and are very friendly!! We chose AdoptHelp because once a Birthmom signs up with them, AdoptHelp will walk them through their pregnancy and all the milestones prior to "matching" with Adoptive parents. Once the Birthmom hits her 3rd trimester and has a clear understanding of adoption and that they are fully committed to adoption, AdoptHelp will introduce the Adoptive parents.

The way the process works: We complete a (lengthy) questionnaire about who we prefer for a Birthmother and child....everything from race to sex to drug/alcohol use. The Birthmother will do the same and AdoptHelp will review all questionnaires and then "match" us with a Birthmom. The Birthmom will have 3 Adoptive parents to preview and choose from. Once "matched" we will meet....which our Birthmom could be here in Idaho or she could be clear across the country....you never know. If it is long distance then we will meet via phone & photos.

We are pretty thrilled to go through such an amazing journey for our lil' Locklear!!